herbs in my life

I went to the Morris Arboretum with my Complementary & Alternative Medicines class to study medicinal plants. Their herb garden was so beautiful. I'm really getting interested in plant medicine. We have a class project to either write a research paper about a CAM modality, or interview and observe the practice of a CAM practitioner. Of course I chose the latter of the two. Who wants to write a research paper when you can witness firsthand and pick somebody's brain about their practice? Fun! So, my interviewee is the herbalist who runs this apothecary in Chestnut Hill. I'm going there this friday, and i'm getting my own consultation. Hopefully I will have some customized herb recommendations. Lately i've been thinking about taking ginseng, to get some energy boost. I'm also considering some St. John's Wort in anticipation of the winter blues (is this bad that I'm anticipating this?) Anyhow, I've also been taking melatonin to help me sleep, and I have to say it works really well. and I've experienced no side effects. It puts me out like a light. Amazing! 

where's dessert already?!

nothing stinks more than having someone tell you they're bringing you dessert. then wait a few hours dreaming about what delicious sweet will arrive at your study haven, then they call to say they will not even coming over! NO Sweet Treats that were promised! BOGUS! so awful! The cruelest of tricks! 

Now I must search myself, in this large city, for warm rice pudding with raisins, chocolate fudge torte, cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing. All I can think of is the most decadent treats..... I, perhaps, am a bit spoiled. Nonetheless, treats I shall have! If it means settling for the lonely freezerburned fudge pop at the back of the freezer, so be it.

mmm. cookie time

at this very moment, i am baking cookies. butterless, flourless, eggless cookies that are full of melty dark chocolate chips. nothing could feel more right at this moment. its from my new favorite food blog: 101 Cookbooks. the other day i roasted tomatoes, which i had never done before, but it was so very easy, and the product, truly tasty. They got all smoky and sweet tasting, and i ate them with quinoa and lentils.  Deelish! The crisp autumn weather has renewed my passion for cooking and more importantly, EATING! I love to eat, especially when I'm under huge amounts of stress. Lets prepare to hibernate! ok. maybe not yet. Next friday, a friend is throwing Jamie and I an engagement party. The emerging theme seems to be champagne divas and prince karaoke. Booyah! Everyone's invited! 

more of the clinical

postpartum really starts to feel like waitressing. i never thought i'd hear so much grumping about and tantrum throwing from grown women. harassing the nurses. and the nurses coming back to the nurses station and quietly ridicule the women. all around, really unbecoming for all parties. 

why can't postpartum be this really amazing, feminist, womyn loving space of praise for the sacred feminine? why can't we get on that groovy lady love train?

i am reminded of how deeply misogyny is ingrained in women. and what negative feelings women have toward other women, that can sometimes come through in subtle ways, but overall creates this environment of antagonism. Its hard, because I'm drawn to working with women, but put into it like this, i see myself start to play into this somewhat dysfunctional dance. its a longer story, i guess.  Maybe i'm just seeing the glass half empty right now. But today, I considered doing med/surg instead. No, who am I kidding. I'm still looking for the magic. Magic swoop down and claim me! Make it easy!

thinking about love

"Like so much else, people have also misunderstood the place of love in life, they have made it into play and pleasure because they thought that play and pleasure was more blissful than work; but there is nothing happier than work, and love, just because it is the extreme happiness, can be nothing else but work..." -Rainer Maria Rilke

the front of my house

i adore our sunflowers. they make me think of jamie's love for kansas, and the fields of sunflowers we would pass, driving through the plains. everytime i approach the house they make me smile. and bumble bees and small birds flock to them, hang from their big bright faces. loving them as well.

early autumn. this morning was chilly. makes me wish I could grow my hair into curly locks and run through pumpkin patches!

i have never

before in my life inspected so many vaginas and anuses. i palpate many a fundus. i check many a lochia. apply many icepacks to swollen labia. hello hospital birth. hello awkward cotton gowns that no one loves. hello newly latching babies to breasts. all these things filled my day. and i'm loving/hating every second of it.