tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21812747227510005822024-03-13T17:14:13.155-04:00psychic seashellsjillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-43405625590424306052009-10-20T03:10:00.002-04:002009-10-20T03:14:34.445-04:00the wedding!Sooo our wedding was last month, and it was amazing. I can't believe that I could love this person more everyday. I still get all choked up when i look at the pictures. it was really special. I'm also relieved its over so we can move on to the next phase of our lives, we really spent the good part of a year planning the event, and i'm ready to be a person with hobbies again! but gosh it was so great. one of my favorite parts was our first dance to Bruce Springsteen's Jersey Girl. and let me tell you it was every bit a middle school dance spectacle with the two of us with hardly any dance skills, but just holding each other giggling, and feeling euphoric. it was just beyond words. pix here:<div>http://jilljamieswedding.shutterfly.com/</div><div><br /></div><div>xoxo</div><div>jill</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-56952969280793322292009-05-04T22:13:00.002-04:002009-05-04T22:24:04.733-04:00oh the Catskillsso Jamie and I had planned a fourday weekend off together a few months ago, the original plan was that we were going to visit asheville, NC. Then we decided we were far too exhausted by even the idea of driving 11 hours both way, so we went to the ole standby vacation spot of the catskills. <div>we took our dog. we stayed in a hotel. we reconnected. and we hiked around the beautiful lake minnewaska. it was really great. i finished reading a novel i'd been plugging away at for ummmm about a year. it was amazing to just be around so much GREEN. to walk through sticks and underbrush, to stand on mounds of moss. to lie beneath pine trees and just breath in the fresh mountain air. i cried a little on the drive home, well, while reading the end of my book, it was moving, but the whole trip was just a bit cathartic. it was thunderstorming and i felt sad to just watch the scenery change from enchanted forest to billboards then just concrete landscape. what an empty mess. i'm still just wondering what it will take to make this leap that i've desired for so long. </div><div>the other night i dreamt of myself as a pre-teen, wandering through the woods behind my family's farmhouse, sitting on familiar fallen trees, tracking hunter's pathways through our property. just this real everyday connection i had with the natural world. i miss that. </div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-43251473791032322152009-04-11T15:35:00.001-04:002009-04-11T15:39:11.910-04:00miss veronica<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizgGGkUG7Ra_ufkOejT3kusPUxZRxM3-pX_SbYDGMALuFKvJt0HTQ7-fEdgB8WvOp6gRhFLYRuEHzovpTiEnVbVm_rFpQzcWqlFuFF5NncefC99ZMjCeg6mWUeVBrpxOVYD5h18ozqEUCi/s1600-h/DSCF1532.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizgGGkUG7Ra_ufkOejT3kusPUxZRxM3-pX_SbYDGMALuFKvJt0HTQ7-fEdgB8WvOp6gRhFLYRuEHzovpTiEnVbVm_rFpQzcWqlFuFF5NncefC99ZMjCeg6mWUeVBrpxOVYD5h18ozqEUCi/s320/DSCF1532.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323520253773417538" /></a>Jamie and I got a dog, her name is Veronica. She is a 4 yr old mini pinscher. she's very timid, but a sweet girl. I'm so happy. I love her! Its a lot of work, but so worth it. jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-22399774536369552432009-03-27T19:28:00.003-04:002009-03-27T20:03:05.806-04:00working through new nursing thoughtssooo, i guess i've become a bit of a job consumed person as of late. its funny, one of the most repeated tips that the senior nurses offer me while on the floor is to always ask for help if your workload becomes too much to bear, before you "feel like you're drowning." There is actually so much reference to drowning, and i think its quite an accurate, and shocking metaphor for the work that nurses do on this really fast paced floor. i mean, i've never had a job where the work was likened to such a severe panic as losing your life.<div>as a newbie, i often feel like i'm about to drown, like i have a little raft but its leaking air. There is an expectation to move rapidly through patient's rooms, which has taken a lot of the satisfaction that i could have from actually getting to know my patients, talking to their families, forming a relationship with them and employing a more holistic approach to their health. Thats just not possible with the amount of tasks that need to get done in any given hour. I feel like i'm storming into people's rooms, performing any number of procedures to them that are invasive, try to keep a smile on my face and a pleasant demeanor to relieve the anxiety or terror of the child and worried parents, and exit the room as quickly as i came in. its fucking hard. every time i have to help hold a small child down to get an iv placed, or get catheterized, the terror in their eyes it just breaks my heart. and not having the opportunity to sit with them or help comfort the family through a really rough hospitalization feels wrong to me. there's really nothing pleasant about them being in the hospital, and its hard to be a part of this scenario that will most likely be remembered as a really hard (if not outright traumatic) period of their life. </div><div>so there is this sort of numbing that happens to healthcare workers, to just cope, i see it happening in me too, and i'm grieving it. i have to detach myself enough to pick up and move to the next thing. and quickly. I think one thing i'm trying to learn is how it seems that most the other nurses came to this work because they "wanted to work with kids," which i admire, but i'm not sure how they are gleaning satisfaction from it, or where they are finding the positive connection. I'm wondering if I just have a more cynical view of "the power of" western medicine and healing that makes it hard for me to feel good about the whole slew of invasive procedures and inherent depersonalization within the great big beast of the hospital machine. In the bigger picture, its hard for me to feel that what i'm doing is helping them get better, since the results are not pleasant, immediate or apparant. I guess part of that is that a lot of the kids on our floor actually don't get better, they are chronically ill, alot of them stay for months on end in the hospital. So the medical care you provide just feels really disruptive to their lives as children, but on the other hand, that care is necessary for them to live, so its complicated. Well, so i see what i do as part of this form of care for chronically and acutely ill kids, but maybe i'm just meant to be a different type of healer. I know the "grass is always greener" but i'm just yearning for a more gentle and intimate setting to work with people. I fantasize that if i was a midwife, it wouldn't be like this, i can spend however long getting to know my clients, offering resources, support and guidance and all that warm fuzzy stuff that i'm really missing right now. I don't know. I'm at least going to stick it out for a year or so. The job market sucks. I'm feeling a little defeated and wondering how to cope. Today i feel like quitting and becoming a barista. </div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-19414486922778732332009-02-19T02:55:00.002-05:002009-02-19T03:07:56.430-05:00overnight shi(f)tso, this is my first week working night shift and it is just wreaking havoc on my body and mind. and spirit. and nerves. yikes! <div>i guess i'm to expect myself to so quickly adjust to working two weeks of 7a-7p then 2 weeks of 7p-7a. This will be my life. Tonight i'm off, but am home forcing myself to stay awake until 7am at least, then i'll sleep until late afternoon, wake up feeling confused, jittery and exhausted, then do the same thing tmrw night. </div><div>i'm trying to do things like, clean the bathroom, to keep myself awake, but i think i keep waking up Jamie (poor thing) who is a regular human being who has to get up in the morning for work. </div><div>i wish the supermarket was open at least so i could take care of life errands during the night. nothings open, nobody is up to talk to, its strange and lonely, this overnight business.</div><div>its funny b/c i think of both of my parents. my mom worked an overnight shift at a publishing company when i was young. my dad is a truck driver and delivers bread to schools and grocery stores and starts at like 2am. So its funny to feel so sorry for myself then realize that both my parents work(ed) nights. I think the thing that feels chaotic to me is this whole shifting back and forth from days to nights. I am a creature of habit, and sleep happens to be my most favorite habit. Oh well.</div><div>This whole orientation process seems to be a series of lessons in adaptability and humility. I am so overwhelmed, constantly asking questions, making mistakes, feeling perplexed, and having small victories that i quickly forget. I came home today and just had a big cry fest over it all. I can't wait to come out the other end of this transition. its consumed all of my energies. can i go to bed yet?</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-73855803980614875212009-01-23T18:18:00.004-05:002009-01-23T18:32:41.231-05:00baby nurse in a shitstormso today was my second day shadowing a nurse on the floor. She had a CRAZY day (both days) although she had *only* 3 patients (most adult med/surg floors you would have 5-6) the patients have complex needs. omg. kids glucose levels rapidly dropping while another kid is needing a med that hasn't been ordered by the doc, threw up her nasogastric tube, and it just went on and on. Plus one of the kids moms yelled at my nurse, and she burst into tears while preparing meds in the med room. I felt so bad and overwhelmed. I mean, i know there will be days like that, but i still don't know how to even work all the pumps, and many of these kids have lines running out of most major organs. SHIT! oh, and speaking of shit. there IS a lot of it. that is not a myth. I think its funny (or insulting) that the perception that the general public has about what "nurses do" is just constantly cleaning up poo or vomit, giving sexy sponge-baths to middle aged men, or being mere handmaidens to patriarchal doctors. oh please, dont even get me started! The work requires complex technical skills, medical knowledge, and mad interpersonal skills. Anyhoo, that said, there is a lot of shit and vomit on this floor. It is a GI floor, so you have to test many of the kids poo for blood (and weigh it, and describe its appearance in detail in the chart) and kids barf, alot. but oh well. Super STinky. i guess i'll just get used to that part of it, and it will make me less quesy. I wanted to work on a medical floor!<div>Also, they gave me a 2-way pager, so i get pages all day (like "you have a call-parked on 24567" like what the hell does that mean? what? who? where?) that I still don't really know how to answer to respond to. Long story short, its a pretty fast paced environment and its really just hit the ground running. I swear there are like 20 nurses that work on the floor too. I can't even begin to remember who i've met, what their names are, and all that. Geez!</div><div> From here on out, i work 3 12 hour shifts a week (7a-7p). I am tired! I can't wait to get paid! I feel dirty like i need a shower! wish me luck</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-30347605619285331222009-01-17T08:50:00.002-05:002009-01-17T09:40:27.732-05:00mmmm. sleeping in and yummy bfastits funny how i slept until 7am this morning and that feels like "sleeping in." Well i've been getting up at 5am most of this week to be at the hospital by 7. So sheessh! schedule change is rough.<div>but now i'm eating one of my most favorite simple meals: toasted sunflower mastermacher bread (yknow, the kind that comes in a small square loaf, looks all weird with the 1970's labelling) but it is SOOOO GOOOD. it tastes a little bit sour, like sourdough, but is super dense, nutty and slightly chewy. its really something special when you toast it and smear earth balance margarine and nutritional yeast across the top. DEEELISH> yknow its really the simple things people. my saturday just got better. And i'm feeling a lot better, on the mood tip, since i've been back on a regular life schedule.</div><div>I just finished my first week on the job. Well, we have 2 full weeks of orientation, so most of the time was spent watching presentations, reading policies, and filling out paperwork. Its been a bit mind numbing. but the floor is awesome, the hospital is incredible. there is beautiful artwork, mobiles, mosaics everywhere. there is a family education center where families can go, get free tea coffee, use computers/fax machines, find books/resources about medical conditions, and they even have private rooms with beds where family members can spend the night. Its like the disneyworld/hilton hotel of children's hospitals. And it is SOOOO clean. i cant even tell you. its like you could eat a meal off the bathroom floor. Everywhere. Having done my clinical rotations at like, 4 other Philly hospitals, this place looks like heaven. really awesome. I'll be excited to actually start being a nurse. next week i have a couple of shadow days, then the following week i start taking my own patients, and I have a precepter who will spend every moment with me, teaching me, making sure i dont eff up. which is really great and reassuring. I'm super nervous. Working with sick kids is a huge responsibility, and i don't want to make any errors. So, thats my scoop on the job tip. Studying for my nursing boards (NCLEX) which i take Feb. 9th. Not really making much progress on that front... Also h elping to plan a baby shower for my sister Jess (who is due in April!) we are very excited. If anyone has any recommendations for where to make a registry (besides babiesrus) that has more eco friendly stuff, let me know~! </div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-6299249466648489092009-01-13T19:16:00.002-05:002009-01-13T19:21:51.250-05:00oh winteri think i'm having the winter blues. accelerated by having no school/no job, which one would think could be fabulous and fancy free, i have really been spending so much time in my jammies, in the dark house, surfing the internet, then having long periods of feeling sad and tearful (without apparant reason). i keep forcing myself to leave the house and socialize, but gosh, it feels like such a chore and all i want to do is sleep. Well, i started my new job yesterday, so i'm very much releived to have something to occupy my mind and time. It was really hard to go from having a lot of demands on my plate to having *zilch*. I like to be busy. dont get me wrong i like a good nap and hot bath as well. But these past few weeks have felt just ugh. Why does winter suck? I mean, if its gonna bring such psychological drudgery, couldn't it at least snow and be pretty and magical a few times already? its just been grey for weeks on end. I just needed to grump for a minute about it. jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-85421601303598389202009-01-10T10:33:00.002-05:002009-01-10T10:39:12.303-05:00birthday blogso, its so great when your sweetie takes off of work to spend you birthday with you. Jamie made me pancakes. and two tiny ones that he wrote a 3 and a 2 in nutella. So cute! Although, I have to be honest, this is the first birthday that i've really felt not excited about. 32 at the moment reminds me of all the things i still want to accomplish, and that maybe i AM getting older, and bye bye twenties (for real) and hello to my changing body. I dunno, I was sad about it last night. But today i'm seeing the stream of emails, text messages, and (haha) facebook comments wishing me a happy bday, and that feels fun, and like, right! I should be happy. its my mofo bday!<div>we are having a rad masseur friend of ours come over later and she's giving us both massages. OH yea, i can hardly wait. Then maybe cuban restaurant for dinner. yum. Maybe 32 wont be so bad. maybe it will rock</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-23110266797498424542009-01-01T11:28:00.006-05:002009-01-01T11:48:44.081-05:00happy new years goddess!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrZDnTy4W1WTgRHi8Sm7i3zAD1m8235EeiV6iWkMNprm_W2N8P7sqqru3WQh40X4TO4Sqggzhkqw-3ePAZjbzX0XQXhnjq4zWlLpHAc6FhRHrznJ8qmgfC2vHQisvoh8HowYy9ibyKVANO/s1600-h/ixchel.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 104px; height: 140px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrZDnTy4W1WTgRHi8Sm7i3zAD1m8235EeiV6iWkMNprm_W2N8P7sqqru3WQh40X4TO4Sqggzhkqw-3ePAZjbzX0XQXhnjq4zWlLpHAc6FhRHrznJ8qmgfC2vHQisvoh8HowYy9ibyKVANO/s400/ixchel.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5286363557370367426" /></a>Ixchel: the Mayan goddess of the moon. She is also the goddess of birthing, midwifery and healing. <div><br /></div><div>I am inspired by her on this new years day. I am also looking at goddess sites for us to honeymoon at. Perhaps Isla Mujeres, one of the islands where Ixchel was worshipped. </div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-29350468399110574262008-12-18T19:47:00.003-05:002008-12-18T19:48:45.695-05:00guess what?!I officially graduated yesterday! Magna Cum Laude (who knew?)! what a surprise. Almost a real nurse. Just gotta pass the boards on Jan 9th. Hopefully, I can take them that soon. !jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-86300393380429144752008-12-17T23:16:00.003-05:002008-12-17T23:19:55.784-05:00snugglin<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikSavqCaVF6s_5L3S9-8W3ZwoR7S0XYrr-jDMBZNyCXuVWp8q3teLA3nqOQ4Krhlcl-6rvWQotsv3SBOZmME-SGAKbEKf6CthNFbpI0OcGL-ww-2NR063RW5ya_x-0OceBooFINJ4G6RqW/s1600-h/DSCF1509.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikSavqCaVF6s_5L3S9-8W3ZwoR7S0XYrr-jDMBZNyCXuVWp8q3teLA3nqOQ4Krhlcl-6rvWQotsv3SBOZmME-SGAKbEKf6CthNFbpI0OcGL-ww-2NR063RW5ya_x-0OceBooFINJ4G6RqW/s320/DSCF1509.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280979693856278594" /></a>I love snugglin, if even briefly on the couch, <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQhvgo3_tgO4L1fGdvlC35g-VU87IGoAh103OTUJmvMY0anyMTZ_9uQiUwkFzTkjVWONrHEtAyNOevYh6YXlZWAGaNelk4b1Ox9GFu9CMtJHfGP3iLMDGJVAwcab4k27qP2SigHsLoplhW/s1600-h/lights.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQhvgo3_tgO4L1fGdvlC35g-VU87IGoAh103OTUJmvMY0anyMTZ_9uQiUwkFzTkjVWONrHEtAyNOevYh6YXlZWAGaNelk4b1Ox9GFu9CMtJHfGP3iLMDGJVAwcab4k27qP2SigHsLoplhW/s320/lights.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280979492965105522" /></a>and i love the little lights, and red. the indoors feels cozy and nurturing.jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-10530349842818707352008-12-17T23:10:00.004-05:002008-12-17T23:16:07.713-05:00a sweet gift<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_bisLd3cmkD0JS-h4JJ-PHN8rvBL_Vscv-tLIZxs9O3YlT7d5NX8qLY8gC5IutWTX4RGbFIaDxkLP8sY4q_ENmMoh6_Sfi8oRKUuBXvnidEl0wX_GAOETfVhSmg9PSdKyEcE5XKidbG0/s1600-h/vodka.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_bisLd3cmkD0JS-h4JJ-PHN8rvBL_Vscv-tLIZxs9O3YlT7d5NX8qLY8gC5IutWTX4RGbFIaDxkLP8sY4q_ENmMoh6_Sfi8oRKUuBXvnidEl0wX_GAOETfVhSmg9PSdKyEcE5XKidbG0/s320/vodka.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280978459312307794" /></a>I love other people's craftiness. My cousin rebecca loves to make infused vodka. And I love to taste test her infused vodkas. Anyhoo, she gave me this bottle of pineapple, cranberry, vanilla infused vodka. Yum! I thought i'd take a photo of it tonight, before Emily and I bust it open to make martinis. Deeeelish. So pretty, I almost didn't want to open it.jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-80392949644309906332008-12-15T22:32:00.001-05:002008-12-15T22:35:34.735-05:00p.s.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjraX79bJKMCJ9MM2l6ykx4FeucU-B0QuYJpmBDg7ndIjAPI40CmwhK2adAUkeClRs0JKJBfsDv6kPrWAG3ohnJqrWVxE9V3mFVnYa-3Hwx8SUes2SG96tclQ0pf6bSa6xR859y6lVxFQa7/s1600-h/cc20c30e86df4fd07584839965af6069_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 278px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjraX79bJKMCJ9MM2l6ykx4FeucU-B0QuYJpmBDg7ndIjAPI40CmwhK2adAUkeClRs0JKJBfsDv6kPrWAG3ohnJqrWVxE9V3mFVnYa-3Hwx8SUes2SG96tclQ0pf6bSa6xR859y6lVxFQa7/s320/cc20c30e86df4fd07584839965af6069_1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280226111783410578" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr2n1YFMdW-ygAE0kdGQ4T4PTgCJRsnrI5sAAiGybRpCXJB1guYF2aUoqFXGmVGM4_d2HXMaIJ0nZmFJ0QK0QsYMttvWwcx4AJ9nYRMKZ7qR4EFgHcOVa0ePB79LdI0qRaoyJWcJm2leX7/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 85px; height: 85px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr2n1YFMdW-ygAE0kdGQ4T4PTgCJRsnrI5sAAiGybRpCXJB1guYF2aUoqFXGmVGM4_d2HXMaIJ0nZmFJ0QK0QsYMttvWwcx4AJ9nYRMKZ7qR4EFgHcOVa0ePB79LdI0qRaoyJWcJm2leX7/s320/images.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280226107379962034" /></a><br /><div><br /></div>i want to learn how to do this with my hair. Planning a 1930's look for the wedding day. its fun!<div><br /></div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-85388628137358612262008-12-15T18:28:00.003-05:002008-12-15T18:42:31.658-05:00at the baby shower. omg<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQQyG9HotJtJXTy6miGqW67tAsHuOoTSLVQ93tv_1HfQfBNPG-4Pw4eEfAneWtHK4R72h3p-Do7Jq3NnRs2ZWW3XEKhsjNvEhcGKuoxXPkqXlx3NtJ-0746F8fQ9D7efWeJbay2M6mvZO1/s1600-h/jill-jamie-at-beakers.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQQyG9HotJtJXTy6miGqW67tAsHuOoTSLVQ93tv_1HfQfBNPG-4Pw4eEfAneWtHK4R72h3p-Do7Jq3NnRs2ZWW3XEKhsjNvEhcGKuoxXPkqXlx3NtJ-0746F8fQ9D7efWeJbay2M6mvZO1/s320/jill-jamie-at-beakers.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280163007447992914" /></a>We didn't party quite as hard as we anticipated (ha ha). Although I was trying pretty hard with that mulled wine. This photo was right before Jamie just lied down completely on the floor. It was a long drive there. <div>There were many small children there. We had the opportunity to play with kids, watch them do silly things, watch them misbehave or what have you, and imagine our lives as parents. It was interesting. Sometimes I simultaneously want kids and really don't want kids. I mean, there's a sense of relief in walking away from it, and just being responsible for yourself. Numero uno. But on the other hand, they are amazing, and watching the kid/parent bond is really special. and i want to experience that!</div><div>My cousin is amazing, she's 8 months pregnant and was wearing these totally fierce black high high heels. You go mama. That won't be me. i'll be wearing a sweatsuit and birkenstocks, or some embarrassing getup. hee hee. </div><div>Also, there was like this crazy ice storm that had just passed when we got there. Woah. Today in Philly it was like 60 degrees. Tomorrow its going to be in the 30's. I'm definitely getting sick. *sigh*</div><div>in other news, today i rubbed two pennies together to buy a mini xmas/solstice tree. and its making me soo happy, glowing in the living room. can we tell i'm nesting?</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-76952908782397976742008-12-13T10:40:00.002-05:002008-12-13T10:45:41.036-05:00albanytoday, jamie and i are going up to albany to my cousin Rebecca's house. We are celebrating the nearing birth of her first child. Fun! she has a name picked out (Leila Soraya) so pretty!<div>However, we did go party a little last night, and i'm feeling a bit pooped and hungover. oh well. Its the season of parties. I'm wondering if we should throw a solstice party... Last year we did, and a friend and I baked a bunch of challah. it was my first bread baking endeavor. i'd like to do it again. trying to create traditions and maintaining continuity is challenging. </div><div>did anyone see the moon last night? apparantly its the largest full moon we've had in 15 (?) years. it was striking. check it out tonight if you can.</div><div><br /></div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-66708584820723934222008-12-10T17:33:00.002-05:002008-12-10T18:02:56.697-05:00slacker bloggerits true. i've had so many things happening at once, i forgot to plug back into my online diary. so, in the past 2 weeks, i finished my thesis (whew). before this i did many interpretive gestures around the apartment, mostly for jamie's amusement (and concern), kind of metaphorically likening the completion of the thesis as the birth of a rather large baby. so, in between hours staring at the computer paralyzed by fear of dealing with it, dancing around the computer in silly fits of procrastination, and brief moments of productivity, i would squat on the floor and moan, and express how intense the sensation of birthing this thesis was. if anything, i was amused. i think jamie just couldn't wait for it all to be over, and for me to return to being a person who was not a) glued to the computer and stacks of books or b) creating bizarre coping mechanisms that were getting somewhat old.<div>I guess informing all of this is that i've had 3 months of intense, beautiful, inspiring and difficult experiences working with laboring women in the hospital. Its been present in my life and on my mind. Its been really awesome, and i loved helping women. I even really love postpartum. i can't even count how many times i've been in the bathroom with a woman, helping her with bleeding, with pads/ice packs, waterproofing an IV line so she could shower, or helping a baby breastfeed for the first time. really beautiful, and i feel super honored to be involved in these intimate moments. Its really a sacred time for mothers and their families, and being a part of it felt very satisfying, like i was involved in something larger than life. The part of it that was really hard, was sometimes (oftentimes) feeling the other nurses did not treat the women or the process with the respect, kindness, and reverance it deserved. I feared if i went into that field, i would perhaps become hardened and calloused, as many nurses were. Anyhoo, i really love the work. If anything, it makes me want to study to be a midwife more. Not work in the hospital. or maybe try to work in the hospital, and change things.</div><div>But i'm also drawn to primary care, perhaps getting my masters in family health, and working as a nurse practitioner in an outpatient clinic. We'll see. i got a job (finally) at the children's hospital in philly. So working with kids is awesome, i did a clinical rotation there last fall, and it was great. It will be great to round out my skills.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, all of a sudden i'm studying fast and hard for the nursing boards. i'm aiming to take them in 3 weeks. but its starting to feel like to much. </div><div>Hey, i thought i'd have some time to chill out. ya know, stare at the walls, paint my toenails. rent '80's movies from the blockbuster around the corner. eat hoagies and call friends i haven't talked to in far too long. </div><div>no way! more studying! well, i can't really complain. i feel like the universe is bestowing me with much to be thankful for. I'm broke as hell but i'm happy. Wedding planning has been great fun, and i feel more in love all the time. Jamie is so amazing, and has really had my back through this whole mess of nursing school. In so many ways, i could not have asked for a better partner. I want to sweep him away on a beautiful european vacation, where he can ride his little bicycle down the coast of spain or whatever. Perhaps! Feeling good. Thinking about y'all with the holidays and hoping you are well. xo</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-84220312417884789322008-10-22T15:45:00.002-04:002008-10-22T15:55:46.252-04:00the rest of my week!So, tonight Jamie and I leave for D.C. I am going to <a href="http://www.allclinicians.org/home.php">this conference</a>, which I'm pretty excited about. Its about healthcare justice and is for clinicians, there will be radical midwives, physicians and nurses who work towards immigrant rights and access to healthcare, some lgbt health work (though, no t, which is always discouraging), native american health. etc. I got a scholarship too for 2 nights at the conference hotel (schmancy hilton!) so Jamie and I are making a little lovecation out of it. Booyah!<div>He's excited to see his DC friends, some guys he grew up with. Peter is an animal rights lawyer, and his partner Doron owns and runs a <a href="http://www.stickyfingersbakery.com/index.php">vegan bakery</a> in town. We haven't seen them in over a year, and they're really adorable. </div><div>In other news, I've been wedding planning. We've got the date narrowed down to next September, location Boulder Colorado. It only seems appropriate. The shits expensive though. and trying to keep it small is challenging. yikes. Anyhoo, i'm on the market for a dress that has many layers of tulle that spring out in a tutu fashion and is some shade of bright pink. with maybe some peices of the natural world woven into the fabric. Where can I find me such a dress? I need a postmodern seamstress perhaps....</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-49778420542269789132008-10-16T18:01:00.002-04:002008-10-16T18:11:31.956-04:00dreamsI had a dream last night, or more accurately, early this morning. In my dream I was traveling through this town of open doors and empty houses. I went inside one house after another, never seeing anyone. then i went into this house that looked a bit like the suburban homes of the playmates i had as a youngster. There was an older woman there that I understood to be a spirit (ghost). She led me to a wall that had encased within it 5 brooms. They all had handles made from tree branches, that were long and knobby, but smoothed and lacquered. The bristles at the base were made of long lavender stems with purple lavender flowers at the tips. They were beautiful and fragrant, and I certainly didn't understand the purpose of the gift. She instructed me to take one, make it mine and enchant it. So i climbed atop of it, and attempted to make it fly. I'm not sure if i actually did, but i spent a long time 'enchanting' it. The whole experience felt really powerful. It was the type of dream that won't let you wake, and when you do you feel like you went to another planet. wait, where am i? where is my magic lavender broom? Perhaps it is halloween creeping up on my unconscious mind.jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-56483454473088972242008-10-12T21:17:00.002-04:002008-10-12T21:29:05.286-04:00fun on the farm!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizroA0fetjC6AWPxPLm53D10xtp5lr_JnSJMaLs7auidSK_GQ5W-_p8TtHBQNlkf8Ehg4qMbmfNaheCE_TPWLnS452W6HOHY490cAsNVfY-l8XtDq_Vm6VeiBQvLoeo76TTHuNkLRKAxL1/s1600-h/team-before-maze.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizroA0fetjC6AWPxPLm53D10xtp5lr_JnSJMaLs7auidSK_GQ5W-_p8TtHBQNlkf8Ehg4qMbmfNaheCE_TPWLnS452W6HOHY490cAsNVfY-l8XtDq_Vm6VeiBQvLoeo76TTHuNkLRKAxL1/s320/team-before-maze.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256443411814825602" /></a>Michael, Amy, Emily, Ashley and Linda, on our way into the corn maze<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQQ_AoxztXqGQP3pPsI1-gfhBaSSJY_PI7bxIZvLMRNubPa2tFkxBEFLla6DNet3VC1aBMUpx8b-Q6DLl99RDJ-bGTN28cI9Bv9o2bQuDcqsO0XS15SdxGkyuU7BRmaOPMCHUtptM15xxK/s1600-h/DSCF1414.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQQ_AoxztXqGQP3pPsI1-gfhBaSSJY_PI7bxIZvLMRNubPa2tFkxBEFLla6DNet3VC1aBMUpx8b-Q6DLl99RDJ-bGTN28cI9Bv9o2bQuDcqsO0XS15SdxGkyuU7BRmaOPMCHUtptM15xxK/s320/DSCF1414.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256443414804895490" /></a>the corn maze was very short in stature. but 6 acres deep!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjpisUfES9vR90ZLsHx594s9doEkGuKDBIji12-a11VyBlJma4pTynv3wU1vZwpD1erDYbChKk6RXfLLBpgOLpnDJu_aJvDbSFDlxfs_u3vkeRNapyCVjUG9RM8LP-e5M4UdfmAG6MSD_E/s1600-h/DSCF1413.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjpisUfES9vR90ZLsHx594s9doEkGuKDBIji12-a11VyBlJma4pTynv3wU1vZwpD1erDYbChKk6RXfLLBpgOLpnDJu_aJvDbSFDlxfs_u3vkeRNapyCVjUG9RM8LP-e5M4UdfmAG6MSD_E/s320/DSCF1413.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256443420331630322" /></a>We came out VICTORIOUS! Much Cider was drank! Many donuts consumed!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_wiXAjx36Eu1X92pbi4fULHIongM3_rAvQvpyoo29sw2yGBlUoqhROkbeNP9e1kbWHYrsTx3dNWoozhuzXEwZeyVzLPgIQdwk3ih-lK4KqBs2KqdrBzjLpq7advWREqf4fKXZEAK1jZ-/s1600-h/jill-ash-as-apples.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_wiXAjx36Eu1X92pbi4fULHIongM3_rAvQvpyoo29sw2yGBlUoqhROkbeNP9e1kbWHYrsTx3dNWoozhuzXEwZeyVzLPgIQdwk3ih-lK4KqBs2KqdrBzjLpq7advWREqf4fKXZEAK1jZ-/s320/jill-ash-as-apples.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256443425037460146" /></a>and Ashley and I turned out to be pretty darn cute as apples. jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-10918672071710608352008-10-11T22:12:00.002-04:002008-10-11T22:15:12.155-04:00tomorrowI go apple picking <a href="http://www.snipesfarm.com/produce/">here</a>! I normally have 12 hour clinical on Sundays. but not tomorrow. We are on "fall break." whoever heard of such a thing? Soo... i have off until wednesday. How spoiled am I? anyhoo. I plan on navigating a maze of corn stalks and plucking beautiful low spray apples from their trees. with friends. How fun!jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-46305649476999902922008-10-11T18:53:00.001-04:002008-10-11T19:00:39.551-04:00happy midwifery week!some celebrities who have given birth with midwives:<div><br /></div><div>1. Pamela Anderson (home birth)</div><div>2. Ricki Lake (home birth)</div><div>3. Cindy Crawford (home birth)</div><div>4. Demi Moore (home birth) </div><div>5. Kelly Preston (John Travolta's wife)</div><div>6. Kate Winslet</div><div>7. Cate Blanchett</div><div>8. Lucy Lawless (Xena! home birth)</div><div>9. Cybill Sheperd</div><div>10. Meryl Streep (home birth)</div><div>11. Lisa Bonet (home birth)</div><div>12. Carole King (home birth)</div><div><br /></div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-44159040427838256332008-10-07T22:59:00.002-04:002008-10-07T23:05:41.779-04:00the birth survey."because its easier to get consumer satisfaction information about a camera than about maternity care services..."<div>If you've given birth in the past 3 yrs, take <a href="http://www.thebirthsurvey.com/index.html">the birth survey</a> to provide feedback on your providers, birth centers, hospitals, etc. CIMS (Coalition for Improving Maternity Services) is a really rad organization working towards helping people make more informed healthcare choices. Spread the word!~</div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-14569272500741482022008-10-07T11:58:00.002-04:002008-10-07T12:07:49.809-04:00the engagement party<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7WKmNsoF54MA92LGX79BkTJXIh28J-VE6lXO9pfR7vSMR8H59IwrLZBjx_knSlgk0Jwqvkd_7fldu2UUDFuleL5Eq6JMgyy7NYJSn9QGtJ3ye6jhOq3AmGA9AXhjN2rum6IHDCvDya7Sf/s1600-h/DSCF1368.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7WKmNsoF54MA92LGX79BkTJXIh28J-VE6lXO9pfR7vSMR8H59IwrLZBjx_knSlgk0Jwqvkd_7fldu2UUDFuleL5Eq6JMgyy7NYJSn9QGtJ3ye6jhOq3AmGA9AXhjN2rum6IHDCvDya7Sf/s320/DSCF1368.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254443455545483970" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Nora made a beautiful cake with a raspberry heart</div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK0jns38eMJqW4SFMOE_c7YSXx_XZZDlisxWgDpdsLi7xir0dV0yVUMX9Ts0mOPuM8UPHna7SXHQ8aFEbcXRc0Ro2ZtAUwZvyjtwt4gtnGqwnYKgnLo1zEJrXSOlBKOlO0XSMeX1XSK_Vx/s1600-h/DSCF1372.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK0jns38eMJqW4SFMOE_c7YSXx_XZZDlisxWgDpdsLi7xir0dV0yVUMX9Ts0mOPuM8UPHna7SXHQ8aFEbcXRc0Ro2ZtAUwZvyjtwt4gtnGqwnYKgnLo1zEJrXSOlBKOlO0XSMeX1XSK_Vx/s320/DSCF1372.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254443461496200274" /></a><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>my momma made a champagne toast and cried. it was sweet<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzw6cply82lQ1Y8goplx-3NZZMahM0JG1bjLLhyphenhyphenpEjjPqvqOwTht0wFBiX8vMfeMU29eFn2grJao7HCMU1EeGExl64lLTt9T9Q6KpVsEsiI39_0T8X-Z2KKFPXWiO0_W1uUfqUXwvJM96n/s1600-h/mom&mo.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzw6cply82lQ1Y8goplx-3NZZMahM0JG1bjLLhyphenhyphenpEjjPqvqOwTht0wFBiX8vMfeMU29eFn2grJao7HCMU1EeGExl64lLTt9T9Q6KpVsEsiI39_0T8X-Z2KKFPXWiO0_W1uUfqUXwvJM96n/s320/mom&mo.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254443475084241394" /></a><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>momma and her boyfriend, Mo<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCzbI_1ARWw5wJEkxFXfNp2k8kKlv8OY9bGHIEVIiMGFnFwjguTPWTSwyVLjE2pii1XjRurcZceMmOc-iyMiWcnMP8DPW1grvCOT3TnIHy6h05Zv-z9rSYjMfR_EiRSCsOt-DYmFG0Bky9/s1600-h/jamie&chris.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCzbI_1ARWw5wJEkxFXfNp2k8kKlv8OY9bGHIEVIiMGFnFwjguTPWTSwyVLjE2pii1XjRurcZceMmOc-iyMiWcnMP8DPW1grvCOT3TnIHy6h05Zv-z9rSYjMfR_EiRSCsOt-DYmFG0Bky9/s320/jamie&chris.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254443480603038210" /></a><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Jamie being fed cake by his boyfriend Chris<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwNj2lP_F4viDPYQOxO_UiFi7qIDJSaxcfOgiXKMWh4ttpx9DnxY386_8GtMQvHZpue7DbYi_BvezEN4s_5qdoh64dqkEeO06tN1xLy_sTZpA0yANCoWGPup0Q5OzBvm01ThzsYKb_Sdnm/s1600-h/westphilly.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwNj2lP_F4viDPYQOxO_UiFi7qIDJSaxcfOgiXKMWh4ttpx9DnxY386_8GtMQvHZpue7DbYi_BvezEN4s_5qdoh64dqkEeO06tN1xLy_sTZpA0yANCoWGPup0Q5OzBvm01ThzsYKb_Sdnm/s320/westphilly.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254443488309888018" /></a><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>West philly represent. and Julie Davids passed through!<br /><div><br /></div>jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2181274722751000582.post-87140537378519015412008-09-29T21:51:00.002-04:002008-09-29T22:03:21.681-04:00herbs in my lifeI went to the <a href="http://www.business-services.upenn.edu/arboretum/gardenherbgarden.html">Morris Arboretum</a> with my Complementary & Alternative Medicines class to study medicinal plants. Their herb garden was so beautiful. I'm really getting interested in plant medicine. We have a class project to either write a research paper about a CAM modality, or interview and observe the practice of a CAM practitioner. Of course I chose the latter of the two. Who wants to write a research paper when you can witness firsthand and pick somebody's brain about their practice? Fun! So, my interviewee is the herbalist who runs <a href="http://theapothecarygarden.com/About_Us.html">this apothecary</a> in Chestnut Hill. I'm going there this friday, and i'm getting my own consultation. Hopefully I will have some customized herb recommendations. Lately i've been thinking about taking ginseng, to get some energy boost. I'm also considering some St. John's Wort in anticipation of the winter blues (is this bad that I'm anticipating this?) Anyhow, I've also been taking melatonin to help me sleep, and I have to say it works really well. and I've experienced no side effects. It puts me out like a light. Amazing! jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15335884712280313134noreply@blogger.com0